Question: I am a woman who has boys and girls, as for the girls due to the fact that they are constantly with me I have brought them up well, whereas the boys, some of whom are old, it has not been within my capacity to discipline them. Their father works all day and when I ask him to do this, he is not pleased. Am I to blame for this? I hope that you can encourage fathers to pay attention to their sons and not preoccupied away from them by work.
The Answer: We thank this woman for the good upbringing of her daughters, and for her attempts at disciplining her son's as well. We hope that the father will pay attention to them, care for them and guide them until they become righteous. This is better for him in this world and the next, in life and in death, the Most High said:
"O you who believe, ward off from yourselves and your families a fire whose fuel is people and stones."
Also the Prophet has said:
"If the son of Aadam does, his deeds are severed except for three: accumulative charity, knowledge that is benefited from after him or a pious child who invokes Allah for him."
It is a great good if he attends to their upbringing as Allah and His Messenger have ordered. They would thus invoke Allah for him during his own lifetime and after his death. If he neglects the upbringing of his sons then he is sinful and they will become a source of worry for him. We hope that the father will pay attention to his sons as he pays attention to his wealth, rather more eagerly. For wealth is incidental and it fades whereas sons are part of a person, and they are the ones who really benefit him during this life and after his death.
Shaykh Uthaymeen (Fataawa Manaar al-Islaam: 3/789)